Tuesday, January 26, 2016

Adulting Is Hard


I was feeling rather glamorous this particular night. Not Pictured: My very dirty sweatpants I was wearing that I just keep forgetting to wash.

Oh, adulting. To me, that word means learning how to pay bills/getting shiz done on time/meeting obligations/cooking a dinner other than Mac n Cheese...a very full and heavy word. I'm 27 now, which I feel is just old enough where I feel responsible and put together most days, but still young enough where I want to curl up in a blanket and literally watch Disney movies all day. My friend and I often joke about adulting. " Shouldn't our parents have warned us?! What if I didn't WANT to become an adult? Don't I have a choice? " But inevitably, with each passing year, we grow older and hopefully wiser to the ways of the world. And it just keeps on going...

Sometimes I do wish I could go back. Back to the days of climbing trees, riding your bike super fast down a hill and not giving a crap about possibly breaking a hip, eating tons of candy and NOT worrying about how many pounds I might gain from this. The simpler times. And I guess the days where I didn't worry so much about everything...

Right now, I guess " adulting " is me just trying to do all the adult things while keeping my young self intact. I think it is important to be young at heart and enjoy the simpler things. It's just harder sometimes than I thought it would be. Of course when you're younger you think being an adult is this magical feeling where you are the ruler of your own world and nothing can bring you down. Then debt happens, and family members get sick, and car problems stress you out so much you want to slowly disappear....but you have to stay positive. Maybe adulting is staying positive and keeping a good face when things do fall apart? IDK.

If someone older and wiser than me can just go ahead and tell me what being an adult really means so I can plan for it, I'd really like that. But for now...I'm going to drink my coffee, finish folding some laundry, and read about Harry Potter fandoms. BYE.


~Grace Abigail

Wednesday, January 6, 2016

Bring It On, 2016!

Thank God it's a new year.

Without going into too much detail, this past year was probably one of the most challenging of my entire life. There's been stress( sooo much ), heartbreak, exhaustion, and many lessons in forgiveness and patience. I've been pushed to my emotional and physical limit in 2015, and I've come out from it...not completely unscathed, but with wounds that are still healing. Scrapes and scars that are still visible...Confusions about my own identity that are still a mystery to me. But I am looking forward to change and healing from the past year's wrongs, and making them right again. I know it won't happen overnight, that's not a realistic way to look at life...but yes, I am ready to put it all behind me.

I think it's important to note that even though 2015 was incredibly hard, it also had many blessings. The one I'm most grateful for, of course, is the birth of my son. I'll always remember this year as belonging to him. Learning about him, anticipating his wants, taking care of him, and not really having much more room in my heart for anything but him. 2015 will always be special because of Link. He was the shining prize of this year.

But now it's time for the next one, and boy am I glad for it! Here's a little list of some of my wishes for 2016. Some a little light hearted and a few that I'm really hoping happen...

- Become full time again at my job. It will really help with bills.

- Visit Florida again. We weren't able to get to a beach last year and I just need that ocean air in my veins!

- Finally color my hair pink. Or just not a natural color. I've been wanting to do this FOREVER! Heck, I'd be happy with a nice dye job in a salon!

- Learn calligraphy.

- Sell more paintings and art pieces and hopefully, finally finish the second Emmie and the Secret World book!
- Become more financially stable. Please God...

- Maybe move out of Illinois? We've been thinking about Colorado for awhile now...we just need to get out of these flat lands! Give me adventure and something different to look at, please!!!

- Start to think about eating better and not eating McDonalds all the dang time. I'm pretty sure this was a goal for last year...but it didn't work out too well. We'll see how this goes. That McChicken though...


What are some of your plans for this year? I hope it's filled with happiness and excitement for all of you!


~Grace Abigail

Sunday, December 27, 2015

Lincoln's First Christmas!


My sweet little guy! He was having some teething pain all day, so he was uh...less than cooperative when we tried to get a smiling picture of him by the tree.

Hello, my dears! Did everyone have a great Christmas? I must say, it was a pretty damn good one over here! All day I was so excited to watch Link's reactions to things. He seemed pretty confused for most of the festivities, but just watching his little eyes widen and his little forehead furrow when he was interested in something...oh, it was so cool!

It is true what they say, the only thing better than experiencing Christmas when you're a kid, is watching your own kid experience Christmas. He's only about 8 months old now, so he can't truly comprehend all the magic of the season yet, but just knowing that we get to show him how wonderful and loving Christmas time can be in the future...it's crazy awesome.
Aside from being excited for Link, it was actually a pretty busy week before the big day. I only had a few days off before Christmas, and we had so many things to get done( chores to do, grocery shopping, etc...)that I ended up doing ALL of my gift shopping on Christmas Eve. I wouldn't recommend it, folks. It was a tad stressful. But I truly believe I have a knack for succeeding under pressure, I just wish I wasn't such a huge procrastinator sometimes...it would have saved me a lot of nail biting moments, haha.

Sparkly Christmas Eve tree...and creepy Caprica.


I just have to talk about one of the coolest presents we got! My Father's girlfriend made us this amazing 8 bit Link quilt! She cut all those little squares of fabric all by herself. Kyle was so excited, and I was so floored on how thoughtful and truly " us " the present was. Very blessed to have her in our lives...

All I really wanted to do this Holiday season was spend lots of time with my husband and family. There was plenty of hot chocolate drinking, watching holiday movies like Home Alone, Elf, and The Charlie Brown Christmas, cozy cuddle sessions on our couch. Lots of delicious food, and lots of fun family time full of laughter and happiness. Everything that I asked for and more. I feel very lucky to have such a loving family and such a perfect little giggling baby man!

Okay, sorry for the mushiness. Ahem. It's just hard not to gush cuteness this time of year when everything makes me so sentimental and silly. 

There is a good chance this will be my last post of 2015, and if that's the case, I wish everyone an amazing New Year in 2016! Let's make it a good one! Love you all :)


~Grace Abigail

Wednesday, December 9, 2015

Why Hello Old Friend

My goodness, hello there! I can't believe I haven't written on here for...what has it been? Five months now? Life has gotten full and busy. Packed to the brim. Sometimes I'm not really sure what day it is. Sometimes I can't believe that everything is moving so quickly... I mean, didn't I just give birth? Wasn't it JUST summer?! I find myself, everyday, baffled by how quickly time has passed. I know that is the most cliche thing a new Mom can ever say, but DAMN.

LINCOLN IS 7 MONTHS OLD! Like, what? Wasn't he just tiny enough to sleep on my chest? Now he's big, and rolly polly, with his chunky legs and his old man cankles. He can crawl and grab and screech and laugh. He babbles on sometimes like he's trying to tell me something really important. I can tell by his very very serious look( it involves an adorably furrowed brow). He is healthy and perfect and I don't know how I got so lucky with my sweet little man.

As for me, I feel like I'm in a constant state of catch up. There is always laundry to do, always dishes to wash, always floors and surfaces to be cleaned and dusted...and sometimes I can't. You know what I mean? I just can't do it, because there are more important things going on. Like, singing the ABC's to Link. Duh. I would def rather do that than clean.
But alas, it must be done, and between working, trying to take care of my relationship with the hubs, with friends, and taking care of myself so I actually feel somewhat put together some days, it's all just a lot.

So, I guess that's my round about way of saying sorry for not updating on here as often. I love this blog. It's my little passion/hobby. Unfortunately, I don't really have a lot of time for those nowadays. BUT...there is a new year coming up( 2016? Seriously? ) and I need to start doing stuff for me. Not just swiping on some makeup to make myself look presentable before work...Like actually setting apart some time in my days for just me. Where I don't have to be in charge of anything but my own sanity. Everyone needs those times, right? I'm not being selfish, am I? Ugh, Mom guilt. I'm sure it never leaves.

Taken on a day where I felt pretty damn good. Heyo!

Link at 5 months! THOSE EYES.

Too precious for words...

The Handschin fam on Thanksgiving!

I think since I last updated, we hadn't moved to our house yet. Well, I can happily say that we are loving our little home. I mean, the floors are kind of uneven, and the ceilings are kind of awkwardly low, but anything was better than that closet of an apartment our last place was turning into. We have so much more room where we are now. All our unsightly things can be stowed away in closets, instead of tucked in the corner of the living room, because there was no other place for it before. I am slowly trying to figure out our living room color palette, and trying to get matching picture frames for all the photos in the dining room, but it's kind of awesome to be able to decorate seperate spaces. Before it was just one big room with our couch, dining table, and kitchen smushed together....

It just makes me realize every time I think about it, how blessed we are. Our lives have changed so much in the past couple months, and we are better and stronger than we were before! I just continue to pray for more patience, strength, courage, and more patience, haha. Once I maybe get things settled and nice looking in the living room I will share pictures...but don't expect them next week or anything, lol. 

Now, I am going to make the most of Link's nap time and bake chocolate chip cookies. I'm just gonna ignore that pile of laundry in our bedroom for now. After all, cookies are pretty important to your sanity. At least, my sanity.

Thanks for stopping by, friends!


~Grace Abigail

Thursday, July 16, 2015

A Letter to Lincoln


My son. My boy. My little man. My greatest work of art. Even though you're only a few months old right now, know that I am so proud of you. You can lift yourself up with your strong chubby legs, you smile at my weird faces(which just emphasizes the fact you are my flesh and blood), you lift your head up curiously during tummy time, and you reach for my fingers and your toys with such concentration. All of these things gives me such a sense of joy and pride that YOU, yes you, are mine. I couldn't have created a more perfect little mix of your Daddy and me, and even though I've only known you for a few months now, I know that you are the physical embodiment of all my motherhood dreams come true.
I can only imagine what you have in store for our little family in the future. What hobbies you will love, which ones you will be truly passionate about, who you will love, what kind of food you will enjoy...all of these things I am eagerly awaiting to know about you. To memorize and keep in my memory bank every small detail about your likes and dislikes, so that I can make you the happiest little boy there ever was.
I know there will be tough times. Some days you'll only want to cuddle your Dad, some days you'll be so angry with me when I'm just trying to teach you something, some days you'll cry for no reason and I won't know what to do, some days you won't even think of me. I know that you will grow older, you won't need me so desperately anymore, and that's okay. I want you to be on your own and independent. But I hope that you will always know that I want the best for you. You are my most special guy, and I will always be here for you when you need me. Because I, need you.

~Grace Abigail

Thursday, July 9, 2015

Fourth of July Weekend 2015

I had such a great time hanging out with my family this past holiday weekend! There's something about grilling burgers, playing outside, water sports...all of those happy things just bring me back to being a kid and really living for the hot summer days. Where everything was just about having fun, and I've definitely missed just kicking back and chillaxin. My mind was just focused on having fun and being with the people I love, which has been hard for me to do recently. Sometimes my brain can get too muddled up in worry and fear, and I just need to learn to bring myself back to that place of relaxation. It was a perfect 4th of July, if I do say so myself!

This guy is so hilarious and smart! Love my brother!

My Dad and bro playing water balloon toss at the church picnic. This was right before Peter surprise attacked my Dad in the back with a water balloon. I somehow magically got a snapchat video of the perfect moment to send to Kyle too, haha!

Link charming my sis with his smiles!

On the 4th, after stuffing ourselves with burgers and potato salad, we were able to walk down with the masses of our little town to where the fireworks were going off. I just love the crowd that accumulates in that big field where its held. So many sparklers, glow sticks, music that makes you feel all patriotic, and people all dressed in red, white, and blue. You definitely feel like you're part of something exciting and cool being around so much fun energy...
It was muggy and buggy, but not to hot outside, so I thought it was perfect for Lincoln. He slept in his stroller all the way there, and woke up as soon as the fireworks display started. I was a little nervous as to how he would react when they started going off. I didn't want to scare him! But he sat on my lap and just looked up at all the colors and sounds, drinking it all in! I was so proud of my little guy. Hopefully this means that he enjoys other loud and exciting things! I was definitely a little fraidy-cat child, maybe Link will teach past me a thing or two about having fun and enjoying life, haha.


~Grace Abigail

Thursday, July 2, 2015

Summer Favorites 2015

Earth Therapeutics Loofah Exfoliating Scrub: Oatmeal and Honey///Jergen's Natural Glow///Victoria's Secret Fragrance Mist:Surfside///The Body Shop Radiant Highlighter///Benefit's Roller Lash Mascara///Anastasia Brow Wiz: Medium 
Brown

The humid heat is upon us in the Midwest, and the sunshine is streaming down on us sweaty betties everyday! Yes, summer is here and I have another list of happy and pretty things that I've decided are my faves this season. We still have a ways to go before Fall comes( ugh, just writing the word " Fall " gives me a shudder. I am so not ready for cold weather yet! ) but I know that I will be using these products even after the heat leaves us. Let's get to it, shall we?

Earth Therapeutics Loofah Exfoliating Scrub: I love this body scrub! I got mine at TJ Maxx, but I'm pretty sure that you can get it at ULTA, or even your local CVS! Pretty affordable, and best part, it smells soooo delicious. I rub this all over in the shower before I know I will be shaving or putting on tanning lotion. The oatmeal softens the skin and the honey just smells amazing. If you're looking for a nice body scrub, that isn't ridiculously overpriced, and smells like magic, don't hesitate and seek this one out!

Jergen's Natural Glow Moisturizer: I'm pretty sure I have talked about this gradual tanning lotion before on here, and that's because I've used this baby for years! It's the best one I've found for my super pale skin, and I feel like anything tanner than a natural glow on me looks kind of crazy. This lotion gives me a nice subtle color, and as long as I exfoliate before I put it on, it goes on smoothly and evenly. It dries fairly quick, and it also used to have a rather off putting smell, but they have since improved it, and it's not as strong as it was before. Definitely a good buy for you paler girls who don't want to look like you've turned into an Oompa Loompa overnight.

Victoria's Secret Fragrance Mist in Surfside: Back in junior high, I was all about the VS Perfume! And it turns out, after a slight hiatus from them, I still love them! This one is the fragrance of passion fruit and driftwood, but uhhh, you know I don't really smell driftwood in this, haha. It smells a lot like apples to me, and it also sort of smells like a sea salt spray I have and that I used while on my honeymoon, so it reminds me of Cancun. This fragrance just makes me feel sexy, and it takes me to a place in my mind that I can imagine I'm lounging on a beach...Perfect for summer.

The Body Shop Radiant Highlighter: OMG, this highlighter is so awesome! It gives a very pearl-y finish to my skin, without making me look oily. It has the consistency of a moisturizer or BB Cream, which I like because I usually have dry skin, and you can either tap it on under your foundation or over it. It will shine through either way. Sometimes I put this on by itself, and I still feel like I have a full face on. It just brightens it so much!

Benefit Roller Lash Mascara: I totally got sucked into buying this from hearing basically every beauty vlogger talk about how awesome it was. Aaaand they were right! I would say the brush is what is best about this product. It separates my lashes perfectly and adds a lot of length as well. At around $20 it's not the most budget friendly, but if you want a mascara that lengthens your lashes, and curls them even without using an eyelash curler first( this is a big YAASSS for me ), I would say this is worth the money. Yet again, Benefit produces another great mascara!

Anastasia Brow Wiz in Medium Brown: I've used many brow pencils, trying to figure out how to make my sparse brows look as natural as possible, and a lot of the drugstore options have failed me. So, I knew that from how many people swear by this product, I would inevitably end up trying this in my quest for great looking eyebrows. IT'S THE BEST GUYS. Like, for realz. It doesn't smudge at all( which is great during the summer heat ), it matches the color of my brows perfectly, and the tiny applicator is wonderful for creating natural strokes that look like your regular brow hairs, so it looks amazingly natural. It was $21 at Sephora, and worth every penny. I don't see myself looking anymore for another brow product. BOOM.

I hope this inspires you guys to try something new in your daily summer routine! What are some plans you guys have for summer? Going anywhere tropical? If so, I am super jealous!


~Grace Abigail

Tuesday, June 30, 2015

Little Link at 2 Months!



Hello everyone, I hope you have all been enjoying your summer thus far! My summer has been a pretty lazy one. Most of my days have been spent indoors, with my little guy attached to me at all times! My little man Link is a very clingy one, if I do say so myself. If you set him down for just 5 minutes, you bet your butt he is wanting to be held after those precious 5 minutes. 
I must say, even though sometimes this motherhood thing is exhausting, and I can rarely get much done besides one tiny thing at a time, it's been nice to slow my life down a little these past few months. These moments where I can just stare at the sweetness that I have created, caress his little toes, give him many sweet kisses on his chubby cheeks, I know it won't last forever...so I try to cherish every late night feed where he just doesn't seem to want to ever let go of me....

" Oh, my heart! "

One of our late evening walks. I love that we are close to a beautiful park.

My man looking all fatherly and such.

That face! Gah!

Since Link will be officially 2 months on July 8th, I thought I would give you guys a little update on how he's been developing! He is a very " active " baby. Meaning that he likes to be bounced and he likes to be moved around in different positions throughout the day. It really is an arm workout! I'm coming to the realization that probably means he will be a very active kid when he gets older. He's always kicking his feet and moving his head around, surveying his little world. He can hold his head up by himself now, and he can also stand himself up with his strong legs( as long as I'm holding his arms, of course, he's not THAT strong haha ). He is incredibly smiley in the morning, and always reacts with a huge grin when I'm singing a good morning song to him on the changing table. I can't wait for that first little giggle. I can tell he's trying to make more laughing noises!
At his 2 month checkup he will be getting all of his immunizations, and I gotta say, I'm developing a little anxiety over it. I can only assume that pretty much every new Mom has a little freakout when they envision someone poking their sweet child with a needle, but hey, I just gotta keep telling myself that it is good for him, and that it will be over before I know it. I'm looking forward to all the cuddles that will probably ensue after that checkup! 

My dear husband Kyle has started his training for his management position in Lafayette, IN. I'm so proud of him that he's doing so well and learning a lot while he's there, but it sure is hard to not see him everyday. Of course, I send him many snapchats during the day of our little man so he can keep up to date on him. I don't want him to miss anything! It has been hard sometimes, especially during the night when I am up by myself feeding him, but I don't get too lonely. I have lots of family members who have been so generous, helping me whenever I need it. I don't know where my head would be at if I didn't have them :).

In two weeks, I will be heading back to work part-time instead of full-time. Eeep! I am just a tad nervous! Or maybe you know...more than just a tad. Just the thought of going back to an adult world for a few hours a day, is exciting! You mean I get to talk to grown ups about grown up things?!...But the challenge of putting on makeup and you know clothes everyday...that in itself will be hard to get used to haha. But I am happy to go back. This Mama has been cooped up too long!

Thanks for reading everyone!


~Grace Abigail

Tuesday, June 2, 2015

Change


These moments were too cute not to snap. 

Now that my husband and I have welcomed in this little life we created together, we have to learn to maneuver through this new HUGE change. The twists and turns that child rearing take you on, it's very dizzying. For the past couple weeks, I've hardly eaten much myself, showered hardly ever, gone on a roller coaster of bedtimes and weird sleeping patterns that no sane human would ever do on purpose, and my body no longer looks the same as it once did. These are all things that I knew would happen, but when you are in the thick of it, with your droopy eyelids and when you're wondering if you actually ate something today...this sudden big life change can become a bit overwhelming. Rewarding yes, but still a big scary change.

My husband is starting a new job this week. A " big boy job " if you will, with insurance and everything. He is going through the change of a young man's life, with relatively not a lot of responsibilities, to big time responsibilities. I am insanely proud of him, that he's decided to take on the role of sole provider and there is no doubt in my mind that he will thrive and be able to handle whatever scary situations he gets into. However, his training for the next few months will take him out of town, leaving me and little Link to ourselves for a bit. This change is going to be an especially hard one.

When I think back to five years ago, when Kyle and I were young little 21 year olds, not knowing what was in store for our lives, just learning about each other and what we wanted for our futures, seperately, and then coming together as we learned that we wanted to be together forever...it kind of baffles me...

Yes, we've gone through so much together. All the happy parties we've danced at together, all of the many health scares we've held each other's hands tightly through, we've gone on horribly aggravating and equally awesome trips together, made big life goals, had our share of disagreements and hardships, and now we have a whole new adventure to go on together, parenting. An adventure that we are both so excited about and that we've wanted ever since we were dating. But when I think back on all that we've done together, how we've grown up beside each other, the no-brainer changes and the hard changes we've experienced, it makes me so proud of us.

We all know that change can be hard, and scary. But it's so rewarding and exciting when you have someone by your side who you know you can ride the changes with, and come out on top.


~Grace Abigail

Sunday, May 17, 2015

Welcome Little Lincoln!

Pure bliss.

He's here! We've finally met the little poker and prodder that has been squirming around in my tummy! It was such a great experience, and I couldn't be happier. Welcome to the world, my little chunk!


Lincoln James was born on May 8th( also my Mom's birthday! haha ), at 10:17AM coming in at 7 lbs and 14 oz! He's such a perfect little man, and it was such a relief to finally see his sweet little face. 

Going through labor was kind of an out of body experience, if you will. The whole time I was just kind of baffled it was happening, that we were finally at the end of this long journey, so when he finally made his entrance, looking at him for the first time was just...idk. Amazing and life changing just doesn't explain the feelings I had. 

He's been in our lives for little over a week now, and it's been an interesting time lol. Having never really handled a newborn before, I was a little doubtful of my abilities to take care of this little human, but guys, mothers instinct is no joke. I kind of just dove in. Knowing that this little guy needed me, for food, for nurturing, for love and comfort, there was no hesitation. He's mine and every time I pick him up, whether it's sleepily in the middle of the night or happily rested during the day, I love how he looks at me like he trusts me so much already. In his eyes I see the reassurance I need to take care of him...

Motherhood is awesome. For this short week that he's been in my life, I've realized that motherhood is definitely challenging, and demanding, fiercely terrifying at times, and sometimes very overwhelming, but as soon as he looks at me, it's worth it. All of it.

Now it's all about learning how to breastfeed, pumping, sleeping schedules, dirty diapers, cute little clothes to wear and wash wash wash, and of course so many pictures taken and chubby cheek kisses given.


And if I may say one more thing....just get the drugs lol.


~Grace Abigail